December 22, 2020

I remember one night many years ago when we were living in Ogden Utah. I was pregnant with our third child. Steve was working nights. After I put the boys to bed I was studying the Book of Enos in the Book of Mormon. It starts out with his wrestle with God. He prayed all day and all night.

I thought about that. My heart and mind were heavy and I determined that I was going to pray all night, if necessary, until I got an answer to my prayer. I had basically two questions. The first was about forgiveness. I wanted to know for sue that I had been forgiven for my sins. I wanted to know that the Atonement was real.

My second question was about the Book of Mormon. I wanted to know beyond a shadow of a doubt if the Book of Mormon was true. I believed it was. I knew parts of it were true because I have felt the Holy Ghost sometimes when I read it. But did I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Joseph Smith had translated it from the Gold Plates and that it was written for us in this day? That it was written for me?

Well, I got on my knees and began to pray. I poured my heart out. I cried. And I prayed some more. I don't know how long I had prayed but I did not get the answer I was seeking. It had probably only been 30 minutes or so even though it felt like all night. I thought about giving up, thinking God was not going to answer my prayer. Then I thought about Enos again. He poured her heart out ALL day and ALL night. I had barely scratched the surface. I reminded myself that I was going to pray until I got an answer.

So I continued on my knees. I continued praying and crying and talking with my Father in Heaven. I may have even dosed a time or two. Finally at some time before dawn I got my answers. I did not hear a voice or see a vision; but, I did experience a peace and joy beyond description. I KNEW my sins had been forgiven. I KNEW Heavenly Father loved me, warts and all. I knew He knew who I was and He loved me. I had been carrying baggage around with me for years and it was all washed away. I have never looked back on those sins again. They are gone forever.

I also know that the Book of Mormon is true. I know that God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ appeared to the boy Joseph Smith in a grove of trees in Palmyra, New York to usher in the last dispensation of the fullness of times. I know that a few years later the Angel Moroni appeared to Joseph and told him of an ancient record written on gold plates that was deposited in the ground hear Joseph's house. That record told of the ancient inhabitants of the American continent and their prophecies about the Savior Jesus Christ. I KNOW their record is true. I know it is another testament of Jesus Christ and is a companion to the Holy Bible. I know all of this because of my wrestle with God one night many years ago because I wanted an answer to my prayer.

#lighttheworld2020 #givethanks

25Carol Bavlnka Hawkins, Pamela Watkins Gustin and 23 others

3 Comments

Like

Comment

Share